Dear Athan,
It's finally 10th November, your birthday.
I remember two years ago, when we celebrated your birthday at Cafe Cartel with my mom and Shannon. Time flies, and now you're turning sixteen.

I also remember how I first knew you in Sec 1, and we were going to KL with the choir, and we talked on the journey there. Neither of us knew that that was the start of our friendship. I told you a lot of silly stuff then, and now I still laugh when I occasionally recall those good memories.

Then there was Sing Out 2006, SYF 2007, Sing Out 2007, Sing Out 2008, Korea 2008 and SYF 2009.. These are all experiences that money cannot buy. And I'm really glad for all these experiences that we have shared as one HIHS Choir.

Remember in Sec 2, one day before Sing Out, that you cried? Although I occasionally mentioned it, I never told you that you scared me stiff, did I? That day was really scary for me, and I will remember it forever.

And there are times when I lost my temper at you, sometimes because you did something, other times because you did not do anything. You were just so silly it irritated me, but I forgave you in the end. I know you just want to make the people around you happy, but never do it to the extent that you make yourself unhappy, alright?

So I made a short video, with all your photos that I have. It's not a materialistic present, but I hope you will treasure it forever, as our friendship lasts through the years. Despite all the silly things you do, you will be my friend forever.

Thank you also, for always tolerating my nonsense. I know sometimes I can be like a baby throwing tantrums, but you will still put up with it. Thank you so, so much for everything.

Love,
siying

Stardate 91106.8

Incoming transmission.....

[Hey y'all! What's crackin' l'il bitches? Ok so, I know I haven't said shiet in like forever, but now i am, so quit whining you mike foxtrots! First things first. I owe a shit load of people an ass-load of money. I ain't talkin' about 10 or 20 bucks. I'm talking HUGE! Like HUNDREDS! So basically, I'm fucked up. I came up with this great plan to get a job to try to repay it all, but guess what? NTUC BLEW ME OFF!! FUCK!! At first when I went there to submit my application, they told me that the manager was not in because he was sick or some shiet like that and they said that they would call. IT'S BEEN 2 FUCKIN' LONG WEEKS AND I HAVEN'T HAD A SINGLE CALL!!! FUCK IT!!! And time is running out. So I have to bring myself down to the lowest of all jobs: McDonald's.

I don't want to work there because I know I'm gonna have to put up with seeing my friends everyday. But now, whoo, I don't give a damn anymore. Let my friends be damned.

So now, on to my good news. Birthday's commin' up, but I WILL NOT have ANY presents, AT ALL. And I soooo want the Call Of Duty 6 Modern Warfare 2 Prestige Edition. NIGHT VISION GOGGLES!! OMG! But I may not get it. Damn.

So, in short, FUBAR.

Bouncin' out.]

Stardate 91016.12

Incoming transmission.....

[HELLOOOOOOO people of Athens! I've got awesome news, bad news and worst news. The awesome news is that 'N' levels are done! Which means I am TOTALLY not going back to school. It's actually been quite some time since my 'N's ended, but I wanted to enjoy the well-deserved holidays I have so purposely been deprived off. This brings us to the bad news. Seems that nowadays people are so money-faced that they can't wait for me to pay them back. Some, in particular, have been hounding me about it. Harp, harp, harp. Never ending harps. Its like a pack of dogs barking up a tree that a cat is sleeping on. Don'chyou guys ever stop? Come on, I WILL pay you back, just not the whole thing at once. If you tell me that you can pay someone back the FULL amount in that moment in time then I think youare just plain whacked. Either that or money is nothing to you. which means you are damn rich. In which case, give me a quarter mil and I'll stop bothering you.

Now for the worst news. (sigh). You people harp at me so much that now I can't relax and spend my holidays relaxing. You all have pushed me to the point where I MUST work in order to pay you all back. Not only that, ALL my holiday activities (overseas trip with my family, singout attendance, Christmas celebrations, MY BIRTHDAY) had to be cancelled. And I already said in my previous post, whoever messes with my birthday plans is going to have their death coinciding with my birthday.

Ugh. I hate this. That's why now I stay up past 3am to do what I want to do in the morning but had no time to. I even stayed up till sunrise to finish what I wnated to do the day before. Now I have a natural eye shadow and liner. And my parents are always scolding me because I use the XBOX or comp until damn late and that requires a lot of electricity which increases the standing bill.

Go contemplate my words you sorry sons of bitches. I hope you have a nice day in hell.]

End transmission.

Stardte 91001.9

Incoming transmission.....

[Hey guys, nothing much to say, so I'll just give you guys an update. Oh, and by the way, I pissed sofia off. Yeah, no fun. Apparently, she doesn't like it when she disturbs someone and they fight back. My advice: don't push someone if you don't want to be pushed back. Anyway, back to the updates. I recently just felt the shockwave of a 7.6 Sumatran earthquake. Damn awesome feeling. It lasted around 6-10 seconds, longest I've ever felt. Alright so that's that.

General updates and info for all you athancore readers.
.I have played Halo 3:ODST and it is THE best game I have played so far. Period. Go buy it and find out. Oh, and you MUST have a 360 or you can't play it. Or if you want a demo of it, tell me and I'll try to arrange a live demo. Seriously, TRY IT!!

.I finished ODST in ONE NIGHT! I am so not kidding! It was just too awesome to stop.

.'N' levels are next week, starting from monday right up till friday, so I am shit-deep in work. (FUBAR. Totally and unbelievingly FUBAR)

.In case some of you don't know, my b'day's coming up and you can help contribute to my "Athan's birthday present" fund. I don't joke when it comes to my birthday. I get lesser and lesser presents with every birthday I celebrate. So, if you are kind enough, please donate to my cause. Thank you. If anyone makes a fuckin' stupid comment about my birthday, I swear I'll find you and make you cough out the money. Especially when it is my 16th. Anybody who wants to fuck up my birthday will have to face me. So, if you want your physical appearance to be rearranged, go ahead, make a stupid comment about my birthday.

.And finally, I guess this is MY blog so anyone who reads it MUST respect my privacy and reputation. I actually had a short, SHORT attraction towards Sofia. I don't know why I am so in need of a girlfriend. I guess it's because practically every guy I've seen has a girlfriend and they always make me feel like I don't belong in the world, which I am starting to feel. Anyway, unecessary and irrelevant. GFs don't help me pass my "eh" levels. But still, I would give anything to know what it's like to have a girlfiend, even for a short while, like say a day or so. But i'm not the type that's very "chin chye". I have to evaluate the girl first, weirdly calculate in my mind if she's compatible. I say weirdly because what and how I calculate is a very strange thing. Like if the girl increases my ability to be more kind and caring, responsible and observant, this sort of thing. It's just very complicated.

Anyway I've said whatever I want to say. So that's it

Oh,
PS. to siying, your pros and cons are balanced. You are smart(Duh, like who doesn't know that?), understanding and somewhat patient. But, you are also a tad bit arrogant, your sensitivity is on over-fuckin'-drive 24/7, and when you get jealous, you like to totally ignore any person(not your parents of course.) Chillax more. Go out and have fun. And it seriously is because of me that your friendships are breaking up. I will no longer be held responsible for being a wrench in your friendship engine. From now on, we are on purely social terms, nothing more.

Bouncin' out]

End transmission.

Stardate 90916.9

Incoming transmission.....

[Well, it has been awhile since I posted anything, but I have a reason. Refer to my last. I was mentally, emotionally, and physically unstable. FUBAR on the outside, dead on the flipside. In case you were wondering, FUBAR means Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition, hence, FUBAR. Never mind if you don't get it, it's a military term. Anyway, I spent the last couple of days rebooting my 'systems', unscrambling and re-assorting my neural pathways (my mind in other words), and trying to rebuild the former screw up of myself.

I tried and failed so I went back to trying to get myself hurt again, but "someone" doesn't want me to. So I decided to not be physically hurt, but in every other way. So I started to try my luck on someone else. It's like jackpot; you win some, you lose some. And I tried, and tried, and tried. But in the end, we could get along, but it didn't happen. Because she loves a korean guy thats miles away and she knows it's impossible, but she hangs on to it. So, basically, I'm done. There's nothing left for me in this world, but to move on to the next.

Ok since I was not here these past few days, I will update you homies on current shite.
.Siying recently had her still-born birthday. So, happy birthday.(From certain rumors, it has been said that she almost cried when she saw my present. Almost)
.6 days to ODST release. (I'm so psyched!!)
.A new pizza hut is planning to open in hougang mall.(Finally! After all these years!)
.My awesomest day is comming up! Cosequently the release of Modern Warfare 2.(16 babeh! Woohoo!)
.Not so recently, I'm attracted to weird, out-of-my-league girls.(Who doesn't know that, honestly?)
.Sofia's a newcomer in my social circle.(Welcome to my inner circumference.)
.Adam is stressed out by Batman Arkham Asylum. They either have no stock for him or he wants a lower price.(Damn it adam! If you weren't so damn fickle minded, you would've already gotten your game.)
.And lastly, Choir sucked big time.(Come on sec 3s. We've trained you guys enough. Please don't piss away the time you've had with us. I know as your senior I'm supposed to teach you how to properly pull the weight of the choir, but as your friend I understand and sympathise with you.)

Come on sec 3s. Don't tell me all the screaming was wasted and the sec 4s got sore throats for nuts. We care about you guys and the well-being of the choir. Ryan told me once that you guys are more 'bonded' with each other than before. But ask yourselves this,"is being more bonded helping our singing?" Although being bonded is good, you guys must stay strong and support the choir. Don't ever falter. If you do, pick yourselves up and continue on. The rest of the choir is dependant on you as seniors to lead them and you MUST NOT let them down. I learnt this the hard way training you guys for SYF. It hurts the sec 4s to see that what we did wasn't good enough to retain a gold. And to see you guys pissing ms yee off is no good thing. I heard she walked out during practice today. If you can make her do that, what's to stop her from leaving the choir permanently?

Louis, Brian, Mczie, Gabriel, Marcus, and Ryan. Come on lah. Don't do this to the boys. I know that being the sole responsibility for the whole of the boys is too much to handle. But look at me, Daryl, and Aloy. Did we quit on you? We gave you our very best, passed on whatever knowledge that we had since we were sec 1. I don't know about the other sections, but you as my baritone boys are supposed to be supporting the choir, not dragging them down.

As for the new discplinarian, I can only offer advice from my experiences in choir.
1. Never argue with the EXCO.
2. Follow instructions given by teachers, ms yee or leaders that have a higher rank than you.
3. Do your job. Don't add to the chaos. (I only did this during sec 4. Don't follow me.)

You know, being more united does not necessarily mean you'll get success. If being too bonded is prventing you from reaching your goal, break apart. Not really nice words to hear but getting what you are aiming for requires sacrifice.

You know, during SYF training, I had hoped for at least a low gold, but I already knew it was either a silver or bronze. Even though I knew we couldn't make it, I still pushed the boys to train harder. Some of you already started hating us sec 4s, but we didn't care. We sacrificed our time, effort and patience with you all. D'you know that during the SYF training, the sec 4's exam marks were extremely low? That's how much the choir means to us. We still managed to pull through, but we couldn't have gotten the gold.

Anyway, please take good care of the choir for us. We will come back and visit whenever we are free. Right now is exams and revisions all the way, so naturally no time. But we will pop by every now and then to check up on you guys. Singing is a gift, not a talent. Don't waste it by "bonding" too much with the choir.
That's all I have to say.

Bouncin' out]

End transmission.

Stardate 90902.7

Incoming transmission.....

[For those people that are EXTREMELY sensitive to coarse language, please, I advise you not to read these next few paragraphs. *Warning. Content rated for mature audiences only. Viewer discretion is advised.*

Firstly,
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!? I just received info from cow that Debra was going out with masheyr. I don't blame her for who she chooses to be with, but I'm asking myself,"what the hell did I do wrong? Was I overdoing it? Am I not good enough for her? WHAT? WHAT MAKES ME SO GODDAMN IMPERFECT?" I know it's blasphemy, and I know I'll probably go to hell for that, but WHY?

I can change. I tried changing my attitude for her, but it wasn't good enough. It was NO WHERE NEAR good enough. I feel as terrible as the day she rejected me. I just haven't had the experience of actually liking someone that also likes me back, and I don't have the experience of trying to get other girls to like me. I never did. There are wrong sorts of girls who wanted to date me for the sake of it, to show off that they have a boyfriend to their friends, to gain popularity. But I do it because I want to find happiness, someone to share my interests with me, to support me in whatever I do, and in turn I would do the same for her.

I thought debra would be that girl, but no. I can't think straight anymore. She made her choice. The world moves on, with or without me.

I feel cold. Empty inside. My soul turns to ash. Nothing left to use. The fire of my spirit has died. My world left in flames. There's nothing I can do, but to walk on, walk on and never look back.

But no. I just can't do it. Why'd she have to be so perfect to me? Why'd she have to sway me away from being a demon? I thought she would wait for me, but it was all a dream. A horrible prison to keep me from seeing the truth, which is why I am so deluded.

I'm useless, insignificant, irrelevant, illogical, and most of all, wasted.
I hate myself for that. I want to do what I should have done on this year's valentine's.
I can't save myself, no no no oh oh. I can't SAVE MY...SELF!

She was my dream, my ambition, my very heart and soul. Without her I'm completely lost and wouldn't know where to go. And now she's truly gone, my heart is wracked with grief. Seeing her with someone else, makes me go insane. I'm gonna rip my heart out, and wa...tch it all... end! I'm gona wa....tch it all end! I'm gonna WA......TCH IT ALL E....ND!!

There's nothing left for me.. now, I'm hollow once again. I just watched my heart get burned and turned into ash. There's nothin' left for me to do, but to simply. Lie. In. PA...................................IN!!! so I'll close my eyes. and gently fade. away....]

End transmission.

Stardate 90828.11

Incoming transmission.....

[Today was a bummer. I have already predicted that I would either go to ITE or drop out of school. I hate maths. I can't pass it. LSB said that we(the sec 4 normal acad) are the first batch of lab rats to test MOE's new syllabus. SCREW MOE!!!! Must pass english and maths + 3 other subjects and must get 19 points or below. SCREW!! Never mind. Personal rantage.

Anyway, after school, waited for cow like, 11 centuries before she(that's right boys and girls, it's a SHE!) came out. We, sorry, ahem, I walked to HG mall while she trotted behind me. When she was talking to me, all I heard was "moo, moomoo, moo, moo moo" so naturally I did not know what she was saying.

We went window shopping. And I know cows don't window sh..., heck, they don't even shop!
But this one does. Weird animal. Anyway, I wanted to ask her to show me the pair of headphones she so impatiently wanted, so I decided to surprise her on her birthday. I know what you're thinkin'. Cows don't need headphones, but then again, she's not an ORDINARY cow. So we dropped by Challenger. She pointed out the pair of heads' to me and I was prepared to say "ok let's go" with the intention of buying them for her birthday, but then she broke the fun by saying her INnies are banding together to get them for her. So, plan spoilt, might as well tell her. My whole point of giving her something beyond my fiancial reach is to make her feel guilty for giving me a damn MUSHROOM for my sec 2 b'day.

So in the end, I still managed to get her to be guilty at the expense of my emotions. Sad, sad moments.

Btw, some quotes I used for today:
."but then..."
."I wanted to buy them to surprise you. But then......"
." Your Inners are bitching in to buy your present?"

And the list goes on, and on, and on.

So hang on to your entrails folks! And have a pleasant day at PISS ASS theme park!!

bouncin' out]

End transmission.

Athan Leong 193-414-039
HIHS 4th company Faith platoon
10.11.1993
HIHS Choir, bass
Star Trek fan
Avenged Sevenfold

MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

siying
rachel mok
fion
debra

June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009